Posted by Mary on March 1, 2010
I’m poised for good news, I’m visualizing myself with an x-ray that shows good healing and my surgeon Dr. Kempcke telling me I can move to partial weight bearing – YES! Hold that thought for me as I wait for good news this week.
Speaking of good news I received very exciting news from my dear friend Sherry DeRosa, a cancer survivor, therapist, motivational speaker and a most talented woman recently interviewed by Fifty and Fabulous – because of course she is Fabulous. I’m attaching her link so you can meet my friend and I have to tell you she is a woman to watch! http://faboverfifty.com/interviews/551
Now that I think about it I’m surrounded by women that are in the prime of their lives, continuing to work, grow, learn and contribute to others.
My friend and business associate Lisa Hendrickson owner of Call That Girl Computer Repair was interviewed by WCCO TV last week regarding computer viruses. Lisa is no stranger to the local media, she’s known as a local social media expert and a savvy woman entrepreneur; she’s another woman to watch! http://www.callthatgirl.biz/
My good friend Kat Reed is a local author who recently published a much needed resource for those of us who have lost loved ones and struggled to organized the work to do when closing out their affairs. Kat wrote the book “Begin Here, helping survivors manage” you may have seen the featured artical in the Pioneer Press about Kat last month, her work focuses on the practical tasks that need to be managed after death. http://www.helpingsurvivorsmanage.com/about
I continue to network with new people especially women that risk it all as they evaluate their contributions to the larger community and create their own small businesses. Often my women friends have left successful careers to find their own voice moving from daughter, mother, friend and professional to writer, speaker, coach and caregiver. My new friend Carolyn Carlson is another such women to watch as she begins her work as a writer, poised to be a published author. http://carolyncarlson.wordpress.com/about/
I’m surrounded by beautiful and talented women; my sisters, aunts, neices and especially by my close girlfriends, we share dreams, values, careers. We are moved by sharing our personal stories of joy and sorrow, I think we are all
Women to Watch!
Mary Chapa, RN, CSA, President
Eliza One, Inc.
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Posted by Mary on February 20, 2010
Well it’s been a long winter and February is the month we normally go to our timeshare in Cancun and Playa Del Carmen to enjoy the ocean and sunshine. It’s always nice to break up the long Minnesota winter but this year we won’t be going because I’m still home mending from my broken ankle and two surgeries. I’m still non-weight bearing so hopping along with my walker or if I’m out and about I use a wheelchair for safety. I’m tired of sitting, tired of television, tired of working on the computer and I long to stand up, stretch and walk normally. Who would have thought I’d be grateful for standing or walking? My muscles ache and it feels like my body is out of alignment for leaning to one side and balancing on one leg or trying to distribute my weight because of a cast, splint or boot.
I’ve tried getting out of the house more but then I need to use a wheelchair and I’ve noticed or rather I’ve been surprised at what “is” and what “is not” handicap accessible. Most buildings do NOT have a handicap entrance or automatic door opener so I sometimes wait for the kindness of strangers. My sister in law pointed out when we were in the rest room that while I could reach the sink and hand dryer from the wheel chair the soap was up too high for me to reach.
I notice that using a wheelchair in the snow and ice is safer but really messy; snow gets caught in the wheelchair and transfers onto my coat sleeve and clothes. It’s clumsy and messy to fold up the chair and load and unload it into the car each time we make a stop. You tend to leave puddles when you get inside of buildings or homes and walkers get slippery if the rubber tips or wheels get wet.
I’m glad I have the tools I have to get about but I’m more aware that I have to be the one to look out for other people so they don’t run into me or trip over my feet. My dear sister in law wanted to take me out to lunch and shopping and we laughed at her clumsiness trying to drive me around in a wheelchair, course that was when she wasn’t banging my feet into elevator walls or tipping the wheelchair when we hit cement bumps in the sidewalk. Anyway I made it safely there and back, we both enjoyed the day away and my husband got a chance to take a break and go Ice Fishing with his nephew which is important for those that have Caregiver duties.
I’m still bored but I am truly grateful that I am loved and I have options that keep me going and keep me positive. Next time you are out shopping be aware of those in wheel chairs they might need your help to open a door or to reach something, they just might be out trying to get rid of some Cabin Fever.
Mary
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Posted by Mary on February 9, 2010
I’ve finally been to the store to buy Thank You cards to send to those that have generously supported us through my long healing process. I feel like I’ve said “Thank You” so many times and yet it seems inadequate. I was writing a note to a stranger who had sent me a card and gift, I told her how blessed I felt to have so many people support me through this process and that I feel like I have not gone without having my needs met. I have received cards, flowers, gifts, checks, meals, pictures, jokes, phone calls, housekeeping, books, visits, laughter, understanding, prayers and stimulating conversation to distract me. I’ve had cards sent to me from strangers, my friend Susan sent out a call for well wishers and they responded with enthusiasm and compassion.
I wrote to this stranger to say that as the oldest daughter, sister and good friend I was usually the one people called to take charge; the one who took care of everything and sometimes it felt like everybody. I realized that for much of my life I’ve been a caregiver or manager at work and now I’m learning “patience” but most of all I’m learning to be on the receiving end of being cared for. My husband has learned to cook, clean and generally to be “in charge” of the house since I’ve been unable to ambulate for two and a half almost 3 months now. My family and friends have graciously given their time over and over again and lately we’ve had more visitors in the past couple of months than we’ve had in the past couple of years. My friend Sherry drove from Eau Claire, Wisconsin to bring soup, gifts and to visit with me for an hour or two before turning around and driving back home.
I’ve had too many blessings and people to list and the feelings that come up for me are many as I’m running out of ways to say Thank you to those I love. My lesson learned is “how to receive love” and I think that’s an appropriate lesson for this week when I will celebrate Valentines day and my wedding anniversary of 34 years. That’s not a bad lesson to learn; Patience and how to receive Love.
Happy Anniversary to my husband Ray who demonstrates Love and compassion to me on a daily basis.
Mary
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Posted by Mary on February 5, 2010
Today is National Wear Red Day. Thousands of Americans will be wearing red to draw attention to this startling fact:
Over 430,000 women die each year from cardiovascular disease – and most of these deaths are preventable.
I’m writing because I hope you’ll wear something red today to honor those women – I’ll be wearing RED in remembrance of my sister Faye who we called Susie, she died April 14th 2009 of cardiac arrest .
About every minute, another woman succumbs to cardiovascular disease. The American Heart Association is fighting back, and we need your help. Wear red today – and donate now to help save women’s lives Your donation could help keep someone you love safe from the #1 killer disease in the U.S. Thank you for your support today by participating in National Wear Red Day – and thank you for your support.
You are still missed Susie!
Mary
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Posted by Mary on February 3, 2010
On Friday, February 5, 2010, Americans nationwide will wear red to show their support for women’s heart disease awareness on National Wear Red Day®. This observance promotes the Red Dress symbol and provides an opportunity for everyone to unite in this life-saving awareness movement by showing off a favorite red dress, shirt, or tie, or Red Dress Pin.
Many of you know that I lost my sister unexpectedly last spring to cardiac arrest, my sister like many women did NOT have chest pain but she did have shortness of breath and some anxiety. Faye was very fond of the color RED and so I’m pleased to ask you to wear Red in honor of my sister and to raise awareness about women and heart disease. To learn more about how this disease impacts women I’ve included the following link http://www.goredforwomen.org/about_the_movement.aspx
I miss my sister every day and wish I could pick up my phone and call her to laugh about something I’ve seen or to go to a movie together. Take time to learn more about women and heart disease and pass on the information to the special women in your life!
Mary
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Posted by Mary on January 23, 2010
- Healing Paws
I had my second surgery last Monday on my left ankle and spent the night at Abbott Hospital. One of the things I noticed about being a patient was the fancy new paper gowns they have in pre-op that pumps warm air inside a paper balloon to keep your body warm, who would of thought - ”high tech disposable hospital gowns.” By the way they still open in the back, I wonder what that cost me? Since I have a high deductable medical plan I tend to be cautious about the plan of treatment and anything the doc orders because I pay for most of it.
Did you know it’s not easy to get a quote on the cost of care and procedures ahead of time, or at least some parts of the health care system seemed hesitant or unable to give me a quote on cost of surgery. My physcians office (Twin Cities Orthopedics) did the best job by calling me ahead of time, gave me the estimated cost of the surgeons time and offered me a 10% discount if I was willing to make a credit card payment. The representative was professional, organized, confidently answered my questions and immediately sent me a receipt by email and US mail; to be honest I was impressed.
That same day I received a call from Abbott Hospital to pre-register; I was asked if I wanted to help myself out by making a payment ahead of time. I asked what the cost would be and the representative told me she didn’t know so I asked if the hospital was offering me a discount for a payment up front and she said “no, she couldn’t do that.” I asked her what the benefit to me was to make a payment up front and she began to tell me about how lots of patients don’t pay and how the hospital has to try to collect… I stopped her to say I was just looking for the benefit to me that she mentioned. I asked again if she could give me an estimate or rough ball park quote and whether she would consider a discount if I made a payment, she said she could give me a number for the business office if I wanted to call and ask them about a discount. I told her about my experience earlier in the day with the physicians office and how that they gave me a quote and a discount if I payed early, she said she understood.
I eventually found a phone number that I could call at Abbott Hospital that gives you quotes and I spent a lot of time on the phone with a representative that seemed like she wanted to help me but it felt like the system used by the hospital makes it difficult, she did her best. At least she was helpful about reviewing simialr examples and items that impact the cost especially the “contracted rate” agreed to between my medical insurance company and the health care providers.
I have a few more stories to tell from the patients Eye View but at least for this posting my key insight is that since more people are having to pay out of pocket or at least like me have high deductibles it would be helpful if health care providers could “quickly” respond to a patients Request for Quote. Now that I pay for my care out of pocket I “pay attention” to the total cost of care and I don’t agree to everything the physician orders or at least we have a conversation about it. My key need is getting a quick quote quote so I know what or when to proceed with my medical care because in reality many people have to carefully choose what health care procedures they can afford.
Perhaps this is a “shame on me” for not being as diligent when my past employers and insurance companies had the majority of the fiscal responsibility so this has taught me that we are all responsible for questioning medical orders and the cost of care decisions no matter who is the primary payor.
As patients we need to be responsible team members in reviewing cost of care.
Mary
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Posted by Mary on January 17, 2010
Caregiving is still mostly a woman’s job and many women are putting their career and financial futures on hold as they juggle part-time caregiving and full-time job requirements. This is the reality reported in Caregiving in the U.S. 2009, the most comprehensive examination to date of caregiving in America. The first national profile of caregivers, Family Caregiving in the U.S. was published in 1997, and an updated version of the study, Caregiving in the U.S., was reported in 2004.
The sweeping 2009 study of the legions of people caring for younger adults, older adults, and children with special needs reveals that 29 percent of the U.S. adult population, or 65.7 million people, are caregivers, including 31 percent of all households. These caregivers provide an average of 20 hours of care per week. The 2009 reports also begin to trend the findings from all three waves of the study.
Key findings include:
- While caregivers and care recipients continue to be predominately female (66%), they are approximately three years older now than their counterparts were five years ago. Among caregivers age 18 and older, the average age of today’s caregiver is 49, and the average age of today’s care recipient is 69.
- Caregiving lasts an average of 4.6 years (including caregivers of children).
- Although there has been a decrease in the number of hours of care provided in an average week, a higher proportion of caregivers report helping their care recipient get into and out of beds and chairs, assisting with housework, and preparing meals. There is also an increase in the proportion of caregivers who say they need help or information.
- Caregivers say they have increased their use of supportive services, such as outside transportation services and respite services or sitters.
- Approximately three-fourths of caregivers work while caregiving. While this has remained consistent since 2004, there has been an increase in the proportion who say they have had to make a workplace accommodation because of caregiving.
- Although most caregivers say they experience little physical strain, emotional stress, or financial hardship as a result of being a caregiver, there are indications that caregiving is becoming more emotionally stressful for some and that some are experiencing more financial hardship fulfilling this role than five years ago.
An estimated 65.7 million Americans (29 percent of the U.S. adult population) are caregivers, providing unpaid care to a family member or friend for an average of 20 hours per week. This 2009 study provides updates and trends to surveys conducted in 1997 and 2004.
Article By: National Alliance for Caregiving in Collaboration with AARP; Funded by The MetLife Foundation | December 2009.
“I find it fasinating that many of us are Caregivers but we rarely identify ourselves as caregivers, as I read this article I found it hit the nail on the head and thus wanted to share with my audience of clients and friends. This information helps me realize why the work I do is so important. As I heal from my surgery this is my turn to be the person who needs care, I’m thankful I have loved ones available to provide the needed support but I realize not everyone is as lucky as I am.”
Mary
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Posted by Mary on January 13, 2010
2009 was a busy year and like you I’ve had both celebrations and painful losses to acknowledge but all in all I am grateful. I am blessed and I wish the same for you. This year I want to focus on a theme that one of my friends reminded me of and that is that I offer “peace of mind” to adult children and their aging parents. If you know of anyone who needs a helping hand with their senior family member I would love the opportunity to assist with medical care management, holistic healing & relaxation or end of life coordination.
Wishing you all a very happy and successful new year!
Mary
I’m very pleased to announce that Mary Chapa, RN, President of Eliza One, Inc. has fulfilled the requirements and added to her qualifications the title of CSA, Certified Senior Advisor. “I wanted to add another layer of expertise but I also liked the level of accountability, Code of Ethics and Professional Responsibility required when working with Seniors.” The society believes working with seniors requires both competance as well as a higher ethical standard and integrity.
Based on the demographics of our target client population 10,000 Americans turn 60 each day. This is one of the most profound demographic developments we have ever seen. The fastest-growing age group in the U.S. today is 85 and older based on 2004 census data.
For additional information on the Society and why it’s important to work with professionals that have this certification please follow this link: http://www.society-csa.com/default.aspx
Celebrating Caregivers and Families: Contributing Author Mary Chapa Announces the Release of “Priceless Caregiving: Stories of Elder Care Success, Courage and Strength”
Mary Chapa RN, President, author and elder care expert announces the release of the new book “Priceless Caregiving: Stories of Elder Care Success, Courage and Strength.” Mary is a contributing author in one of the most uplifting books to be written all year. Now released in paperback, Priceless Caregiving can be ordered through Amazon.com or by contacting her office locally.
Minneapolis Women’s ExpoJanuary 29 – 31, 2010 held at the Mpls. Convention Center http://www.mplswomensexpo.com/mpls/
Since I will be recovering from surgery I will not personally be at the event however my friend Rebecca Janke will have my book Priceless Caregiving available for sale at her booth Growing Communities for Peace. In addition I am sending bags from Women Heart that will include information on Women and Heart Disease, many of you know I lost my sister last spring unexpectedly from Cardiac Arrest and I want to honor her memory by sharing information with other women. http://www.womenheart.org/
I also want to announce that February 5th is National Wear Red Day, Heart disease is the No. 1 Killer of women..
GO RED FOR WOMEN and for my sister Faye, RED was her favorite color!
“No medicine is more valuable, none more efficacious, none better suited to the cure of all our temporal ills than a friend to whom we may turn for consolation in time of trouble, and with whom we may share our happiness in time of joy.” Saint Alfred of Rievaulx
A special thank you to all my family and friends who have sent their healing energy to me in person or through notes, calls, gifts or prayers during my healing – I love you all!
Mary
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Posted by Mary on January 6, 2010
Healing is hard work, it may not seem so but it is. I’ve been home bound as I wait for my broken ankle to heal and for me the hard part is learning to be patient. You’ll understand my disappointment when I say I got a call from my doctor this week to tell me the new x-ray shows the bones are misaligned and she is recommending another surgery, gosh just when I was feeling like I was closing in on the finish line.
Recommended Reading
It’s hard not to feel sorry for myself but when I think of how others manage more serious grief I know there are things worse than sitting at home with my leg up on a pillow. I recall the pain and grief earlier this year when we lost my sister unexpectedly and I struggled to find a way to organize the closing of her affairs through my pain of loss. That was when I met my friend Kat Reed who shared my experiences of loss and frustration at the lack of resources to help organize our loved one’s affairs.
We discussed how we created lists and spread sheets for all the action items that needed to be done and I was thrilled to find Kat went a lot farther than I did, she decided to write a book so others would have the benefit of her work. Kat and I talked about how her book would help provide a template for others and with the work I do supporting adult children and their aging parents there might be ways we can partner to speak to interested groups and organizations about loss and how to put one foot in front of the other at end of life.
I was absolutely delighted to see that that the Pioneer Press did an article about Kat and the release of her book which I is a gift to those that are facing a loss and don’t know where to start; it’s also a tremendous resource for those of us working with clients and families at end of life. Many of us ask and wonder how we can help our family and friends during a time of grief and I think Kat’s book gives us some real actionable items and a better understanding of the work involved during a difficult time.
I am pleased to recommend the book “Begin Here, Helping Survivors Manage” by my friend Kat Reed. I’m including the link to the article in Sunday’s paper and a link to Kat’s website if you are interested in purchasing her book.
http://www.twincities.com/ci_14103540?IADID=Search-www.twincities.com-www.twincities.com
www.HelpingSurvivorsManage.com
As I sit here with my leg up on pillows and contemplate starting over again with another surgery I say a prayer of thanks to my sisters and dear friends who have supported me with the gift of friendship during this tiny detour in my road to healing. They remind me that I am not alone, I am blessed and I have a brand new year to celebrate.
Wishing you all a Happy New Year!
Mary
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Posted by Mary on December 19, 2009
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Taking time to heal these past few weeks has been a gift; I’ve realized how many caring family and friends I have. I’m grateful for all those that have continued to take time these past five weeks (yes it’s been five weeks already) to call, send notes, bring food and gifts or just stop by to visit during this very busy time of year. I’m grateful for the real gift of true compassion, generous and compassionate family and friends.
I took time this week to send Christmas cards and I wanted to write a special note to those that are facing a loss for the first time. I remember last year facing the holidays without my father and this year instead of feeling like we got past that first year without Dad we are facing our first year without my sister Susie. I’m thinking of my sister in laws who are also facing the holidays with a significant loss this year; my sister in law Judy lost her father last month and my sister in law Sandy lost another sister to Breast Cancer. Both these families like mine will sit at the table or around the holiday tree with loved ones this year and feel the loss of a loved one.
It seems like little consolation to say I know how you feel so I look for my own ways to celebrate life and as I’ve told family and friends I work hard at “choosing happiness.” I believe we have a choice at some point in our grieving process to begin the journey back from sadness to joy, easier said than done but I believe that’s what my Dad and sister would want for me.
I seek creative ways to remember my loved ones though shared stories, pictures, memories, ritual and laughter. I recently had an opportunity to contribute a story about my Dad for a recent publication and I am thrilled to say it was accepted, now I look for more ways to share meaningful memories with others. My hope for all of you is to find a way to remember your missing loved ones through shared stories and hopefully you will be able to find your way back to joy and laughter again.
Warm Holiday Wishes
Mary
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