I Remember Susie

I’ve been re-reading the book by Thomas Ellis on This Thing Called Grief. I want to be prepared for the Anniversary of my sister Susie’s death, she died unexpectedly last April. During the past few weeks I’ve been thinking of my sister as I go about my daily routine, pictures and memories just seem to pop into my mind. Perhaps it’s because it’s spring and I’ve been outside every day just to feel the sun on my face and arms, it reminds me of childhood memories of spring. I’ve felt renewed as I watch people in the community starting to walk, jog, bike and work in their yards preparing the ground for fresh green growth.

I’ve been reminded of loss this past month as one of my dear friends wrote us about her brother’s illness, diagnosis, transfer to hospice and his passing last Friday. One of the quotes that comes to mind from the book I’m reading on grief is “Grief enters your life in quiet subtle ways or like a train running out of control.” My grief no longer feels out of control but rests as a quiet memory in the corner of my heart. The author Thomas Ellis shared that he has learned that “…we are all changed by grief, whether we express it or not,” I know I have been changed too.

I’m planning a ceremony to acknowledge the grief and loss of my loved ones and I hope to share the event with those that wish to acknowledge their own losses. I’ll do this because I still miss my sister, no one shares the same memories we had of play, family, life events or funny stories. It was my sister that gave me my family nick name of “Says” because she could not pronounce Elizabeth, my family called me by my middle name until as a toddler she renamed me “Says.”

I remember Susie….