Posted by Mary on February 5, 2010
Today is National Wear Red Day. Thousands of Americans will be wearing red to draw attention to this startling fact:
Over 430,000 women die each year from cardiovascular disease – and most of these deaths are preventable.
I’m writing because I hope you’ll wear something red today to honor those women – I’ll be wearing RED in remembrance of my sister Faye who we called Susie, she died April 14th 2009 of cardiac arrest .
About every minute, another woman succumbs to cardiovascular disease. The American Heart Association is fighting back, and we need your help. Wear red today – and donate now to help save women’s lives Your donation could help keep someone you love safe from the #1 killer disease in the U.S. Thank you for your support today by participating in National Wear Red Day – and thank you for your support.
You are still missed Susie!
Mary
Posted by Mary on February 3, 2010
On Friday, February 5, 2010, Americans nationwide will wear red to show their support for women’s heart disease awareness on National Wear Red Day®. This observance promotes the Red Dress symbol and provides an opportunity for everyone to unite in this life-saving awareness movement by showing off a favorite red dress, shirt, or tie, or Red Dress Pin.
Many of you know that I lost my sister unexpectedly last spring to cardiac arrest, my sister like many women did NOT have chest pain but she did have shortness of breath and some anxiety. Faye was very fond of the color RED and so I’m pleased to ask you to wear Red in honor of my sister and to raise awareness about women and heart disease. To learn more about how this disease impacts women I’ve included the following link http://www.goredforwomen.org/about_the_movement.aspx
I miss my sister every day and wish I could pick up my phone and call her to laugh about something I’ve seen or to go to a movie together. Take time to learn more about women and heart disease and pass on the information to the special women in your life!
Mary
Posted by Mary on January 23, 2010
- Healing Paws
I had my second surgery last Monday on my left ankle and spent the night at Abbott Hospital. One of the things I noticed about being a patient was the fancy new paper gowns they have in pre-op that pumps warm air inside a paper balloon to keep your body warm, who would of thought - ”high tech disposable hospital gowns.” By the way they still open in the back, I wonder what that cost me? Since I have a high deductable medical plan I tend to be cautious about the plan of treatment and anything the doc orders because I pay for most of it.
Did you know it’s not easy to get a quote on the cost of care and procedures ahead of time, or at least some parts of the health care system seemed hesitant or unable to give me a quote on cost of surgery. My physcians office (Twin Cities Orthopedics) did the best job by calling me ahead of time, gave me the estimated cost of the surgeons time and offered me a 10% discount if I was willing to make a credit card payment. The representative was professional, organized, confidently answered my questions and immediately sent me a receipt by email and US mail; to be honest I was impressed.
That same day I received a call from Abbott Hospital to pre-register; I was asked if I wanted to help myself out by making a payment ahead of time. I asked what the cost would be and the representative told me she didn’t know so I asked if the hospital was offering me a discount for a payment up front and she said “no, she couldn’t do that.” I asked her what the benefit to me was to make a payment up front and she began to tell me about how lots of patients don’t pay and how the hospital has to try to collect… I stopped her to say I was just looking for the benefit to me that she mentioned. I asked again if she could give me an estimate or rough ball park quote and whether she would consider a discount if I made a payment, she said she could give me a number for the business office if I wanted to call and ask them about a discount. I told her about my experience earlier in the day with the physicians office and how that they gave me a quote and a discount if I payed early, she said she understood.
I eventually found a phone number that I could call at Abbott Hospital that gives you quotes and I spent a lot of time on the phone with a representative that seemed like she wanted to help me but it felt like the system used by the hospital makes it difficult, she did her best. At least she was helpful about reviewing simialr examples and items that impact the cost especially the “contracted rate” agreed to between my medical insurance company and the health care providers.
I have a few more stories to tell from the patients Eye View but at least for this posting my key insight is that since more people are having to pay out of pocket or at least like me have high deductibles it would be helpful if health care providers could “quickly” respond to a patients Request for Quote. Now that I pay for my care out of pocket I “pay attention” to the total cost of care and I don’t agree to everything the physician orders or at least we have a conversation about it. My key need is getting a quick quote quote so I know what or when to proceed with my medical care because in reality many people have to carefully choose what health care procedures they can afford.
Perhaps this is a “shame on me” for not being as diligent when my past employers and insurance companies had the majority of the fiscal responsibility so this has taught me that we are all responsible for questioning medical orders and the cost of care decisions no matter who is the primary payor.
As patients we need to be responsible team members in reviewing cost of care.
Mary
Posted by Mary on January 6, 2010
Healing is hard work, it may not seem so but it is. I’ve been home bound as I wait for my broken ankle to heal and for me the hard part is learning to be patient. You’ll understand my disappointment when I say I got a call from my doctor this week to tell me the new x-ray shows the bones are misaligned and she is recommending another surgery, gosh just when I was feeling like I was closing in on the finish line.
Recommended Reading
It’s hard not to feel sorry for myself but when I think of how others manage more serious grief I know there are things worse than sitting at home with my leg up on a pillow. I recall the pain and grief earlier this year when we lost my sister unexpectedly and I struggled to find a way to organize the closing of her affairs through my pain of loss. That was when I met my friend Kat Reed who shared my experiences of loss and frustration at the lack of resources to help organize our loved one’s affairs.
We discussed how we created lists and spread sheets for all the action items that needed to be done and I was thrilled to find Kat went a lot farther than I did, she decided to write a book so others would have the benefit of her work. Kat and I talked about how her book would help provide a template for others and with the work I do supporting adult children and their aging parents there might be ways we can partner to speak to interested groups and organizations about loss and how to put one foot in front of the other at end of life.
I was absolutely delighted to see that that the Pioneer Press did an article about Kat and the release of her book which I is a gift to those that are facing a loss and don’t know where to start; it’s also a tremendous resource for those of us working with clients and families at end of life. Many of us ask and wonder how we can help our family and friends during a time of grief and I think Kat’s book gives us some real actionable items and a better understanding of the work involved during a difficult time.
I am pleased to recommend the book “Begin Here, Helping Survivors Manage” by my friend Kat Reed. I’m including the link to the article in Sunday’s paper and a link to Kat’s website if you are interested in purchasing her book.
http://www.twincities.com/ci_14103540?IADID=Search-www.twincities.com-www.twincities.com
www.HelpingSurvivorsManage.com
As I sit here with my leg up on pillows and contemplate starting over again with another surgery I say a prayer of thanks to my sisters and dear friends who have supported me with the gift of friendship during this tiny detour in my road to healing. They remind me that I am not alone, I am blessed and I have a brand new year to celebrate.
Wishing you all a Happy New Year!
Mary
Posted by Mary on December 19, 2009
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Taking time to heal these past few weeks has been a gift; I’ve realized how many caring family and friends I have. I’m grateful for all those that have continued to take time these past five weeks (yes it’s been five weeks already) to call, send notes, bring food and gifts or just stop by to visit during this very busy time of year. I’m grateful for the real gift of true compassion, generous and compassionate family and friends.
I took time this week to send Christmas cards and I wanted to write a special note to those that are facing a loss for the first time. I remember last year facing the holidays without my father and this year instead of feeling like we got past that first year without Dad we are facing our first year without my sister Susie. I’m thinking of my sister in laws who are also facing the holidays with a significant loss this year; my sister in law Judy lost her father last month and my sister in law Sandy lost another sister to Breast Cancer. Both these families like mine will sit at the table or around the holiday tree with loved ones this year and feel the loss of a loved one.
It seems like little consolation to say I know how you feel so I look for my own ways to celebrate life and as I’ve told family and friends I work hard at “choosing happiness.” I believe we have a choice at some point in our grieving process to begin the journey back from sadness to joy, easier said than done but I believe that’s what my Dad and sister would want for me.
I seek creative ways to remember my loved ones though shared stories, pictures, memories, ritual and laughter. I recently had an opportunity to contribute a story about my Dad for a recent publication and I am thrilled to say it was accepted, now I look for more ways to share meaningful memories with others. My hope for all of you is to find a way to remember your missing loved ones through shared stories and hopefully you will be able to find your way back to joy and laughter again.
Warm Holiday Wishes
Mary
Posted by Mary on December 1, 2009
This Friday will be three weeks since I had emergency surgery in Puerto Vallarta to repair a compound fracture of my left ankle. I’m home recouperating now and this week I will re-visit my Orthopedic surgeon again, I’m hoping the sutures will be removed and a more rigid cast applied so I can drastically improve my ability to get around. Right now I’m limited to my family room, unfortunately my “good” leg has a torn meniscus so until I learn to levitate I’m really challenged.
If you received my newsletter you know I am willing to share some of my experiences about travel and healthcare.
- All my medical documents are in Spanish and in order to file a claim with my insurance company they need to be translated by a “certified” agency; I have a quote of $775.00 to translate all documents including several pages of the itemized hospital bill.
- The Travel Insurance will expect me/you to file a claim with your own personal insurance company “first” and be denied before they will review and decide on your claim for reimbursement.
- When you are traveling and if you should need medical attention you will need cash and you will need to be able to pay for your care using one or more credit cards, insurance reimbursement is your responsibility so be sure to retain all your records and receipts.
- Hopefully you have called your own insurance company before you leave the country to inquire about your coverage and policy limits.
- When traveling it is always important to notify your credit card company. If you need medical care and it’s expensive you will most likely need to use your credit cards to cover the cost of your care.
- Keep in mind if you need care outside the US you are most likely using providers that are “Out of Network” which means your coverage definitions vary so be sure to ask questions, your deductable might be twice what you thought it was (mine is).
- When you are ill or in need of care I strongly recommend you have an advocate or witness to be with you because you may not be able to focus or remember everything if you are uncomfortable, stressed or in pain.
- Fear, Anger and frustration will not help your healing process when you are hospitalized nor will it help you gain support as you work through the bureaacratic financial or insurance claims requirements.
- As you begin to make the phone calls for both follow up care and starting the claims process be patient and kind, ask questions so people can and will help you through the process.
Take a deep breath and focus on the real priority and that means healing and getting well, take time to rest, eat well and just let others help you whether it’s bringing a meal or just stopping by to cheer you. Take a day at a time and believe that there are hidden blessings in this life event. I’ve always been the big sister, the boss, the one in charge of coordinating eveything and making decisions, this time my loved ones are in charge and I’m in their very capable hands. Truely something to be Thankful for.
Blessings,
Mary
Posted by Mary on August 24, 2009
As I read the email from my dear friend in Canada I wish I was there in person to support her as I tell her we’ve all had experience with helping our parents through illness, transition and even endings. I tell her it doesn’t matter that we are nurses or that we have experience in healthcare or working with elders because this is about our “heart.” We are at that point in our lives where we are concerned about our parent’s health, their ability to recover from illness or the fact that they need different living arrangements. It doesn’t necessarily happen all at once, it may happen gradually and all of a sudden you worry about leaving them alone, question their driving ability, their medications and whether they are taking them correctly and what did the doctor really tell them on the last visit. We wonder if and when we should inject ourselves into their lives and wrestle with the desire to respect their freedom and concern for their safety as well as the safety of others.
I know everything will all work out as well as can be expected because I have every confidence in my friend’s heart skills as a daughter and certainly her intellect and experience no matter what the health care system or family throws at her. I was reflecting this week that in reality my Dad and my Mother had their own small home care & hospice agency, they had 4 daughters that lived nearby and we all had the same shared goal to take care of my parents at home as long as we were able. I think what helped my family and I came up with the following:
· We agreed on the goal or outcome to care for our parents at home for as long as possible
· We agreed on a leader; in my family I was the oldest and a nurse with background in elder care so I had that roll
· We were all willing to do our part, I used to think this was normal but I now realize it sadly is not.
Families don’t have to be perfect but you need some semblance of agreement and shared goals to care for parents and loved ones. I was lucky to have family, some of you are alone and that means leaning into elder care resources, you may not be able to do it all alone.
To my friend Joanne and to all of you caring for parents or loved ones I wish for you a good night’s rest, good nutrition, quiet time to pray or meditate, a little exercise and the ability to let go and allow others to step in or take care of you or take over. Sometimes it’s OK to let go of outcome and just know we’ve done our best.
I love you my friend, you are in my thoughts.
Mary
Posted by Mary on July 27, 2009
Working in health care gave me a slight advantage when coordinating my Dad’s medical care last summer and as I roll out my first newsletter I’m focused on the main question, do you need occasional support with an aging parent or family member? Eliza One will provide occasional or routine support for you while you balance a busy schedule, Eliza One provides a trilogy of services:
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Private medical care coordination, nursing communication and documentation for physician office visits, medication assessment and determination of additional needs or services to maintain independence.
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Holistic healing using Reiki, Healing Touch, essential oils and additional complementary approaches to medicine as desired for relaxation.
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End of Life steward; contributing aid between hospice care and the funeral home; managing the communication, documentation and coordination of tasks that define the personal, financial or legal affairs of your loved one.
l listen to my friends share their stories of aging parents: juggling clinic appointments, follow up on personal needs or placement in senior living accommodations and the eventual transition through end of life. I marvel at how we do this while balancing our careers our businesses and meeting other family needs. I can help, if you know of anyone who needs a helping hand I’d be delighted to talk to them.
These past few months I’ve had an opportunity to crystallize my vision and purpose for Eliza One, Inc. As I launch my first newsletter I am grateful for the experiences and the gifts I have to offer to those who need a daughter for an hour or a day to help them through transition. I look forward to meeting new friends and sharing life experiences, stay in touch as I share more stories, tips and tidbits. 
In memory of my father David,
Mary
Posted by Mary on July 21, 2009
Last Friday I drove to Wisconsin to spend time with my mentor and friend Lee, a Shamana. I was taking time for both personal healing and to continue to learn the way of the Shaman. Lee’s home is a beautiful sanctuary on a hill reminiscent of a retreat setting, the living room wall is all glass looking out over the hill at mature trees. The scent of burnt sage washed over me as I walked through the entryway into her living room. It’s quiet here and I’m surrounded by symbols of native ritual and ceremony, drums, rattles, essential oils, stones and artifacts. Her mesa positioned as altar, among the many artifacts gathered from her travels and truely a beautiful setting to work; Lee stands in beauty waiting to be led by spirit to the work to be done.
I left feeling “full” of life, gratitude and curiosity to do the work recommended for my healing and growth, part of my spiritual path so that I may share healing ceremony with others. On Saturday I had the opportunity to share my experience with my young nieces as we worked and spent time shopping, gathering the materials we would need for one of the ceremonies. Before we started I introduced my drum showing the girls how to hold the drum and beat it so they could feel the vibrations on their bodies, I did a smudging of sage and explained how they should set an intention before we started our work. We shared a peaceful day creating our Prayer Arrow and when we were done we closed with another smudging of sage and blessing.
Monday morning I woke up early and went downstairs, I was grateful to be able to spend time drumming while I focused on my new intention and completed prayer arrow.
For those that may not be familiar with shamanism a definition from Lee’s website www.Sacredway.net follows: Shamanism is a spiritual practice and a healing tradition estimated to be more than 40,000 years old. The shaman incorporates their healing knowledge and spirit into the modern world, restoring balance and harmony to ourselves, our communities and or planet as a whole. There are other more detailed definitions that focus on shamans as working through spirit using drumming as a method to journey and connect to the spirit world, I leave you to your own research but should you have questions please contact me.
Blessings,
Mary
Posted by Mary on July 9, 2009
I was reminded of a valuable community resource yesterday when I received an electronic newsletter from the Center for Spirituality and Healing announcing the latest updates and events. I attended one of their educational workshops last spring on Holistic Health &Healing at the Woodwinds Health Center in Woodbury and the week was a special treat for me. I encourage you to explore and sample their website at http://www.csh.umn.edu/, I find it to be rich with information for you as an individual or as a practitioner.
As a health and healing practitioner experienced in both traditional and complementary medicine I appreciate the breath and scope of our local resources. Minnesota is fortunate to be recognized for many of the community based resources we have in the area of Integrative Medicine and as I build a practice I am reminded to look for what’s available locally; there are too mnay to list but one more resource I like is located at http://www.becomingwell.org/index.html.
I recently did a search for energy healing videos that I could post on my site to help demonstrate a form of energy healing sessions and I found the following item, at least until I can film my own work. This one is available from the Healing Touch Program out of Colorado, I am still looking for a specific video I like using the reiki healing techniques.
Healing Touch Program: An Introduction to Healing Touch part 1of 2
Enjoy!
Mary
