Posted by Mary on January 17, 2010
Caregiving is still mostly a woman’s job and many women are putting their career and financial futures on hold as they juggle part-time caregiving and full-time job requirements. This is the reality reported in Caregiving in the U.S. 2009, the most comprehensive examination to date of caregiving in America. The first national profile of caregivers, Family Caregiving in the U.S. was published in 1997, and an updated version of the study, Caregiving in the U.S., was reported in 2004.
The sweeping 2009 study of the legions of people caring for younger adults, older adults, and children with special needs reveals that 29 percent of the U.S. adult population, or 65.7 million people, are caregivers, including 31 percent of all households. These caregivers provide an average of 20 hours of care per week. The 2009 reports also begin to trend the findings from all three waves of the study.
Key findings include:
- While caregivers and care recipients continue to be predominately female (66%), they are approximately three years older now than their counterparts were five years ago. Among caregivers age 18 and older, the average age of today’s caregiver is 49, and the average age of today’s care recipient is 69.
- Caregiving lasts an average of 4.6 years (including caregivers of children).
- Although there has been a decrease in the number of hours of care provided in an average week, a higher proportion of caregivers report helping their care recipient get into and out of beds and chairs, assisting with housework, and preparing meals. There is also an increase in the proportion of caregivers who say they need help or information.
- Caregivers say they have increased their use of supportive services, such as outside transportation services and respite services or sitters.
- Approximately three-fourths of caregivers work while caregiving. While this has remained consistent since 2004, there has been an increase in the proportion who say they have had to make a workplace accommodation because of caregiving.
- Although most caregivers say they experience little physical strain, emotional stress, or financial hardship as a result of being a caregiver, there are indications that caregiving is becoming more emotionally stressful for some and that some are experiencing more financial hardship fulfilling this role than five years ago.
An estimated 65.7 million Americans (29 percent of the U.S. adult population) are caregivers, providing unpaid care to a family member or friend for an average of 20 hours per week. This 2009 study provides updates and trends to surveys conducted in 1997 and 2004.
Article By: National Alliance for Caregiving in Collaboration with AARP; Funded by The MetLife Foundation | December 2009.
“I find it fasinating that many of us are Caregivers but we rarely identify ourselves as caregivers, as I read this article I found it hit the nail on the head and thus wanted to share with my audience of clients and friends. This information helps me realize why the work I do is so important. As I heal from my surgery this is my turn to be the person who needs care, I’m thankful I have loved ones available to provide the needed support but I realize not everyone is as lucky as I am.”
Mary
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Posted by Mary on October 20, 2009
Whenever I visit with my senior friend I learn something new. Recently we were discussing getting refills on medications and as we were talking I realized how something so simple becomes so challenging for seniors. Does your pharmacy use automated voice prompts? Is your family member hard of hearing, do they use a hearing aid? These hurtles can be so challenging it can prevent your loved one from getting their prescriptions filled.
I know my own family members would rather drive to the pharmacy to drop off their empty prescription bottles and ask the pharmacist questions in person. But what if your family member is no longer driving? I find many seniors don’t want to be a burden to their family and friends so they may not ask for your help, you will need to take time to listen and anticipate their needs – offer to help them run errands.
The challenge of getting medications refilled impacts the health of your senior loved one. So what about mail order, that seems like a perfect answer to the problem and it might be but keep in mind the usual amount of pills sent will be a 90 day supply. My father was grateful to be on a mail order refill plan through the Veteran’s Hospital but as his medications would change he would have large amounts of excess pills, ointments, creams or dressings and unfortunately we could not send them back.
When I sit with clients and review their ability to manage their medications at home I listen carefully and I always learn something. Next time you’re with your senior parent review the pharmacy labels, are the expiration dates current, when was the last time they were filled, is the medication still medically necessary and does it work or are the side effects bothersome? To make sure the medications are set up correctly and that they are taken regularly you might consider using some of the weekly medication containers or reminders. Use your pharmacist as a resource; you might be surprised what you learn?
If you would like help in supporting your aging parent or senior family member please feel free to call me for assistance.
Mary
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Posted by Mary on September 29, 2009
I love the change of seasons in Minnesota and fall is a favorite time of year; this week I have my annual Fall Women’s Retreat with my best friends. As the saying goes we’ve laughed a lot, cried a little and shared our love of books and learning. This long week end is an opportunity to “reconnect, refine and renew” our friendship at a cabin (actually a house) in the northern woods; I like to think of it as a long overdue pajama party. We’ve shared stories about career, relationships (mostly good), travel and supporting our aging parents through good or bad health until end of life and we’ve held each other tight through grief and loss.
This season I will experience the coming holidays without my parents and without my sister Faye but I will joyously celebrate the family I have with heartfelt gratitude, both my birth family and my family of friends. This fall as you think about sharing the holiday with family and friends if you have elderly parents or loved ones that will travel by air to celebrate together give some thought to safe travel. This week as I send my newsletter out with a checklist on safe travel for seniors I’m hoping the information will be helpful to you. If you have not received my newsletter and you’d like a copy please sign-up on my homepage or feel free to contact me for a copy.
Tip for the week: My medical provider is Health Partners and they have a Travel Clinic that I have found to be a fabulous resource, while I sing their praises I note one can be overwhelmed by information but I absolutely appreciate this new specialty, please use their expertise if you will be traveling out of the country. http://www.healthpartners.com/portal/286.html
Enjoy the fall colors, the fall weather and a good bonfire with friends, I will be doing the same this weekend!
Mary
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Posted by Mary on August 24, 2009
As I read the email from my dear friend in Canada I wish I was there in person to support her as I tell her we’ve all had experience with helping our parents through illness, transition and even endings. I tell her it doesn’t matter that we are nurses or that we have experience in healthcare or working with elders because this is about our “heart.” We are at that point in our lives where we are concerned about our parent’s health, their ability to recover from illness or the fact that they need different living arrangements. It doesn’t necessarily happen all at once, it may happen gradually and all of a sudden you worry about leaving them alone, question their driving ability, their medications and whether they are taking them correctly and what did the doctor really tell them on the last visit. We wonder if and when we should inject ourselves into their lives and wrestle with the desire to respect their freedom and concern for their safety as well as the safety of others.
I know everything will all work out as well as can be expected because I have every confidence in my friend’s heart skills as a daughter and certainly her intellect and experience no matter what the health care system or family throws at her. I was reflecting this week that in reality my Dad and my Mother had their own small home care & hospice agency, they had 4 daughters that lived nearby and we all had the same shared goal to take care of my parents at home as long as we were able. I think what helped my family and I came up with the following:
· We agreed on the goal or outcome to care for our parents at home for as long as possible
· We agreed on a leader; in my family I was the oldest and a nurse with background in elder care so I had that roll
· We were all willing to do our part, I used to think this was normal but I now realize it sadly is not.
Families don’t have to be perfect but you need some semblance of agreement and shared goals to care for parents and loved ones. I was lucky to have family, some of you are alone and that means leaning into elder care resources, you may not be able to do it all alone.
To my friend Joanne and to all of you caring for parents or loved ones I wish for you a good night’s rest, good nutrition, quiet time to pray or meditate, a little exercise and the ability to let go and allow others to step in or take care of you or take over. Sometimes it’s OK to let go of outcome and just know we’ve done our best.
I love you my friend, you are in my thoughts.
Mary
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Posted by Mary on August 10, 2009
Rae Celebrating Life
My friend Nancy sent me a photo and letter from her mother Rae who will be celebrating a birthday on Friday, August 14th; she will be 99 years young. Rae wrote a letter to friends and family in July and I’m including her thoughts on life and turning 99 years old. “If you’d like to send Rae a birthday wish I’ve included her address below.”
Dear Friends and Family,
It’s been quite some time since I’ve written so thought I’d drop a quick line to update you on the latest scoop!
I’m now living at Heritage Park, a senior living healthcare facility in Bradenton, FL. Although life is challenging withmy poor eyesight, they certainly keep me busy here withthe various activities that I attend throughout the day. On weekends, Sue and/or Nancy and I get a chance to visit and go out to lunch. My favorite place to go is Cracker Barrel for pecan pancakes with maple syrup and a side of bacon… perhaps not the healthiest thing to eat, but at 98 years old, who the heck cares?
With my 99th birthday coming up in August, I find myself reflecting on the events that occurred during my life.
When I was born,
- William Taft was President.
- Einstein developed his Theory of Relativity when I was 5.
- I was 10 when women received the right to vote.
- Lindbergh did the first trans-Atlantic flight when I was 17
- Television came on the scene when I was 18.
- Prohibition was going on between ages 8 through 23 (thank goodness that ended because I do appreciate a good martini)!
- I’ve outlived Mother Teresa (also born in 1910) by 12 years.
Well, that’s it for now, I would love to hear from you!
Love,
Rae Gaida
202 Sherwood Drive
Bradenton, FL 34210-4516
Rae lived and worked in Duluth, MN as a school teacher, an executive secretary and later managed the credit department of Harcourt Brace publishing company. She has two adult daughters Sue and Nancy and two grandchildren; Michael is in the Air Force and plans to be married to Shannon Kelly next June and granddaughter Trisha will be moving from Seattle to Minnesota to finish her degree in environmental sciences at Bemidji State University
Happy Birthday Rae!
Love,
Mary
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Posted by Mary on July 27, 2009
Working in health care gave me a slight advantage when coordinating my Dad’s medical care last summer and as I roll out my first newsletter I’m focused on the main question, do you need occasional support with an aging parent or family member? Eliza One will provide occasional or routine support for you while you balance a busy schedule, Eliza One provides a trilogy of services:
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Private medical care coordination, nursing communication and documentation for physician office visits, medication assessment and determination of additional needs or services to maintain independence.
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Holistic healing using Reiki, Healing Touch, essential oils and additional complementary approaches to medicine as desired for relaxation.
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End of Life steward; contributing aid between hospice care and the funeral home; managing the communication, documentation and coordination of tasks that define the personal, financial or legal affairs of your loved one.
l listen to my friends share their stories of aging parents: juggling clinic appointments, follow up on personal needs or placement in senior living accommodations and the eventual transition through end of life. I marvel at how we do this while balancing our careers our businesses and meeting other family needs. I can help, if you know of anyone who needs a helping hand I’d be delighted to talk to them.
These past few months I’ve had an opportunity to crystallize my vision and purpose for Eliza One, Inc. As I launch my first newsletter I am grateful for the experiences and the gifts I have to offer to those who need a daughter for an hour or a day to help them through transition. I look forward to meeting new friends and sharing life experiences, stay in touch as I share more stories, tips and tidbits. 
In memory of my father David,
Mary
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Posted by Mary on June 30, 2009
Mom - An Independent Woman
One of my mother’s key values was the importance of “Choice,” her underlying principal was for women to be independent, strong and employed. “It’s important to work hard and get an education” she said, typical values growing up in Minnesota during the 1950’s and 60’s. I lived my life believing this until I became a Director several times over and learned that budget cuts are painful choices and that we let people go even though they had an education and worked hard. It’s been two years since I “chose” to leave my corporate job and reinvent myself, I’ve moved away from health care management and sales management in private industry back to healthcare but from a holistic health and wellness perspective.
I’ve made lots of choices, trying on different ideas based on a holistic perspective and building from my healing practice foundation. I’ve experimented the past two years thinking through what type of business I wanted to create until something became clear and the clarity came through personal discomfort. What are my strengths, what work is satisfying and can I evolve the business into an eventual retirement practice?
After my father died last fall I realized I used my nursing skills to manage his medical care over several years, I did the same when my mother died from cancer and subsequently other family members requested my support. When my sister died recently I organized the work that needed to be done with my remaining sisters, closing out all her final affairs. Having assisted with end of life activities for both parents and a younger sister I learned a lot through very different experiences and it became clear that being a daughter, sister and friend with a health and healing background could be helpful to others.
Some choices are obvious and other opportunities come to us unlooked for but life is an interesting journey and I have a myriad of choices. I consider myself a strong independent woman, I learned from my Mother.
Mary
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Posted by Mary on June 24, 2009
I’ve done a bit of research on information that would have been helpful a few weeks ago on “what to do when a loved one dies.” I remember asking our funeral home director if they had a checklist on to help us organize all the tasks to be done and I was surprised when he said “we don’t have anything like that.” I was more surprised that he wasn’t able to recommend a resource for us. My curiosity got the best of me and having the role of daughter, nurse, care coordinator, sister and end of life closer I decided to do some web browsing now that I’ve completed my sisters affairs. I found a few web resources with short checklists and forms that might be helpful to you, if interested look under “end of life checklists.”
I’ve already created my own electronic documents based on what worked for me and I’m updating with the new information I found during my research. No one wants to think about “Organizing” all the work to be done at End of Life but it needs to happen, most of it quickly. My previous work in home care, hospice and senior services have given me a passion for helping individuals and families transition smoothly during this difficult time. Here’s wishing that my experience can smooth the path for others, I invite you to stay tuned as I unveil a new service to current and future clients.
Eliza One, Inc. “Like a daughter, sister, friend… managing life transitions”
- Energy Healing * Reiki Master
- RN * Private Care Coordination
- End of Life Closer
Call (612) 202-5728 or visit my new office at 5871 Cedar Lake Road, Suite 216 * St. Louis Park, MN 55416
Mary
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Posted by Mary on June 18, 2009
Healing Pup
I’ve been reading and working on “This Thing Called Grief – New Understandings of Loss” by Thomas M. Ellis, the book and the center he directs in St. Paul was recommended by my friend Leslye. As I let go of the daily work I was doing to close out my sister’s affairs I begin to rest, reflect and rebuild my life after loss. Being kind to myself and creating beauty around me meant doing some much needed gardening, adding plants, pulling weeds, replacing grass and admiring my gigantic hostas makes me smile. I won’t mislead you I’m not a real gardener but every little bit has been an improvement and I have found a profound sense of joy and peace as I stoop, bend and get my hands dirty bringing color and beauty to my yard.
In March we added a new member to our family and this little guy has provided a lot of love and comfort for us during the past several weeks. “Buttons” is a rescue poodle that I aquired from Picket Fence Poodles in Elk River, he had a history of being abandoned but we found he was a perfect fit for us and our family is now complete.
So my friends I share a couple of things that can add joy and peace during your healing journey, taking a step at a time I listen to music, admire art, read poetry and write in my journal and of course being with family and friends will help you mend.
Blessings,
Mary
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Posted by Mary on June 15, 2009
One of the kindest things about losing a loved one is that we tend to remember only the most wonderful stories about that person, all else is unimportant and forgotten. As I think of my sister Susie and look at her pictures and memorabilia surrounding me I remember all the most funny and delightful experiences we shared as sisters. I’m glad May is over because when I handed over the keys to her apartment for the last time it felt like I was reopening a wound - the total finality left me physically and emotionally spent. A part of me looked forward to the ending, being finished with the work of packing and unpacking all her personal belongings I was tired of making decisions about what to do with every item from the impractical to the personal stuff that represented her life. When the time came to meet the management company representative for the final walk through I realized too late that I shouldn’t have come alone, I felt sad and disoriented for the rest of the day
Considering the work I need to do to create my personal healing plan I need to start with the basics like rest, relaxation, healthy food, laughter and tenderly managing grief. What I know for sure is that I WILL heal I just wish I could fast forward the process, but perhaps I’d miss the significant life lessons along the way. I know my journey is easier with the loving support of family and friends, faithful friends tell you they won’t abandon you while you walk the path of healing reclaiming your joy and laughter.
Today I received an email from a fellow healer and she passed on a couple of you tube videos and the one that caught my eye was the one titled the Wounded Healer. I share this with my audience in hopes that we can all embrace our life events with gratitude and feel a shared sense of Community.
The Wounded Healer
Mary
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