Posted by Mary on March 1, 2010
I’m poised for good news, I’m visualizing myself with an x-ray that shows good healing and my surgeon Dr. Kempcke telling me I can move to partial weight bearing – YES! Hold that thought for me as I wait for good news this week.
Speaking of good news I received very exciting news from my dear friend Sherry DeRosa, a cancer survivor, therapist, motivational speaker and a most talented woman recently interviewed by Fifty and Fabulous – because of course she is Fabulous. I’m attaching her link so you can meet my friend and I have to tell you she is a woman to watch! http://faboverfifty.com/interviews/551
Now that I think about it I’m surrounded by women that are in the prime of their lives, continuing to work, grow, learn and contribute to others.
My friend and business associate Lisa Hendrickson owner of Call That Girl Computer Repair was interviewed by WCCO TV last week regarding computer viruses. Lisa is no stranger to the local media, she’s known as a local social media expert and a savvy woman entrepreneur; she’s another woman to watch! http://www.callthatgirl.biz/
My good friend Kat Reed is a local author who recently published a much needed resource for those of us who have lost loved ones and struggled to organized the work to do when closing out their affairs. Kat wrote the book “Begin Here, helping survivors manage” you may have seen the featured artical in the Pioneer Press about Kat last month, her work focuses on the practical tasks that need to be managed after death. http://www.helpingsurvivorsmanage.com/about
I continue to network with new people especially women that risk it all as they evaluate their contributions to the larger community and create their own small businesses. Often my women friends have left successful careers to find their own voice moving from daughter, mother, friend and professional to writer, speaker, coach and caregiver. My new friend Carolyn Carlson is another such women to watch as she begins her work as a writer, poised to be a published author. http://carolyncarlson.wordpress.com/about/
I’m surrounded by beautiful and talented women; my sisters, aunts, neices and especially by my close girlfriends, we share dreams, values, careers. We are moved by sharing our personal stories of joy and sorrow, I think we are all
Women to Watch!
Mary Chapa, RN, CSA, President
Eliza One, Inc.
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Posted by Mary on September 29, 2009
I love the change of seasons in Minnesota and fall is a favorite time of year; this week I have my annual Fall Women’s Retreat with my best friends. As the saying goes we’ve laughed a lot, cried a little and shared our love of books and learning. This long week end is an opportunity to “reconnect, refine and renew” our friendship at a cabin (actually a house) in the northern woods; I like to think of it as a long overdue pajama party. We’ve shared stories about career, relationships (mostly good), travel and supporting our aging parents through good or bad health until end of life and we’ve held each other tight through grief and loss.
This season I will experience the coming holidays without my parents and without my sister Faye but I will joyously celebrate the family I have with heartfelt gratitude, both my birth family and my family of friends. This fall as you think about sharing the holiday with family and friends if you have elderly parents or loved ones that will travel by air to celebrate together give some thought to safe travel. This week as I send my newsletter out with a checklist on safe travel for seniors I’m hoping the information will be helpful to you. If you have not received my newsletter and you’d like a copy please sign-up on my homepage or feel free to contact me for a copy.
Tip for the week: My medical provider is Health Partners and they have a Travel Clinic that I have found to be a fabulous resource, while I sing their praises I note one can be overwhelmed by information but I absolutely appreciate this new specialty, please use their expertise if you will be traveling out of the country. http://www.healthpartners.com/portal/286.html
Enjoy the fall colors, the fall weather and a good bonfire with friends, I will be doing the same this weekend!
Mary
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Posted by Mary on August 10, 2009
Rae Celebrating Life
My friend Nancy sent me a photo and letter from her mother Rae who will be celebrating a birthday on Friday, August 14th; she will be 99 years young. Rae wrote a letter to friends and family in July and I’m including her thoughts on life and turning 99 years old. “If you’d like to send Rae a birthday wish I’ve included her address below.”
Dear Friends and Family,
It’s been quite some time since I’ve written so thought I’d drop a quick line to update you on the latest scoop!
I’m now living at Heritage Park, a senior living healthcare facility in Bradenton, FL. Although life is challenging withmy poor eyesight, they certainly keep me busy here withthe various activities that I attend throughout the day. On weekends, Sue and/or Nancy and I get a chance to visit and go out to lunch. My favorite place to go is Cracker Barrel for pecan pancakes with maple syrup and a side of bacon… perhaps not the healthiest thing to eat, but at 98 years old, who the heck cares?
With my 99th birthday coming up in August, I find myself reflecting on the events that occurred during my life.
When I was born,
- William Taft was President.
- Einstein developed his Theory of Relativity when I was 5.
- I was 10 when women received the right to vote.
- Lindbergh did the first trans-Atlantic flight when I was 17
- Television came on the scene when I was 18.
- Prohibition was going on between ages 8 through 23 (thank goodness that ended because I do appreciate a good martini)!
- I’ve outlived Mother Teresa (also born in 1910) by 12 years.
Well, that’s it for now, I would love to hear from you!
Love,
Rae Gaida
202 Sherwood Drive
Bradenton, FL 34210-4516
Rae lived and worked in Duluth, MN as a school teacher, an executive secretary and later managed the credit department of Harcourt Brace publishing company. She has two adult daughters Sue and Nancy and two grandchildren; Michael is in the Air Force and plans to be married to Shannon Kelly next June and granddaughter Trisha will be moving from Seattle to Minnesota to finish her degree in environmental sciences at Bemidji State University
Happy Birthday Rae!
Love,
Mary
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Posted by Mary on July 21, 2009
Last Friday I drove to Wisconsin to spend time with my mentor and friend Lee, a Shamana. I was taking time for both personal healing and to continue to learn the way of the Shaman. Lee’s home is a beautiful sanctuary on a hill reminiscent of a retreat setting, the living room wall is all glass looking out over the hill at mature trees. The scent of burnt sage washed over me as I walked through the entryway into her living room. It’s quiet here and I’m surrounded by symbols of native ritual and ceremony, drums, rattles, essential oils, stones and artifacts. Her mesa positioned as altar, among the many artifacts gathered from her travels and truely a beautiful setting to work; Lee stands in beauty waiting to be led by spirit to the work to be done.
I left feeling “full” of life, gratitude and curiosity to do the work recommended for my healing and growth, part of my spiritual path so that I may share healing ceremony with others. On Saturday I had the opportunity to share my experience with my young nieces as we worked and spent time shopping, gathering the materials we would need for one of the ceremonies. Before we started I introduced my drum showing the girls how to hold the drum and beat it so they could feel the vibrations on their bodies, I did a smudging of sage and explained how they should set an intention before we started our work. We shared a peaceful day creating our Prayer Arrow and when we were done we closed with another smudging of sage and blessing.
Monday morning I woke up early and went downstairs, I was grateful to be able to spend time drumming while I focused on my new intention and completed prayer arrow.
For those that may not be familiar with shamanism a definition from Lee’s website www.Sacredway.net follows: Shamanism is a spiritual practice and a healing tradition estimated to be more than 40,000 years old. The shaman incorporates their healing knowledge and spirit into the modern world, restoring balance and harmony to ourselves, our communities and or planet as a whole. There are other more detailed definitions that focus on shamans as working through spirit using drumming as a method to journey and connect to the spirit world, I leave you to your own research but should you have questions please contact me.
Blessings,
Mary
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Posted by Mary on June 30, 2009
Mom - An Independent Woman
One of my mother’s key values was the importance of “Choice,” her underlying principal was for women to be independent, strong and employed. “It’s important to work hard and get an education” she said, typical values growing up in Minnesota during the 1950’s and 60’s. I lived my life believing this until I became a Director several times over and learned that budget cuts are painful choices and that we let people go even though they had an education and worked hard. It’s been two years since I “chose” to leave my corporate job and reinvent myself, I’ve moved away from health care management and sales management in private industry back to healthcare but from a holistic health and wellness perspective.
I’ve made lots of choices, trying on different ideas based on a holistic perspective and building from my healing practice foundation. I’ve experimented the past two years thinking through what type of business I wanted to create until something became clear and the clarity came through personal discomfort. What are my strengths, what work is satisfying and can I evolve the business into an eventual retirement practice?
After my father died last fall I realized I used my nursing skills to manage his medical care over several years, I did the same when my mother died from cancer and subsequently other family members requested my support. When my sister died recently I organized the work that needed to be done with my remaining sisters, closing out all her final affairs. Having assisted with end of life activities for both parents and a younger sister I learned a lot through very different experiences and it became clear that being a daughter, sister and friend with a health and healing background could be helpful to others.
Some choices are obvious and other opportunities come to us unlooked for but life is an interesting journey and I have a myriad of choices. I consider myself a strong independent woman, I learned from my Mother.
Mary
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Posted by Mary on June 18, 2009
Healing Pup
I’ve been reading and working on “This Thing Called Grief – New Understandings of Loss” by Thomas M. Ellis, the book and the center he directs in St. Paul was recommended by my friend Leslye. As I let go of the daily work I was doing to close out my sister’s affairs I begin to rest, reflect and rebuild my life after loss. Being kind to myself and creating beauty around me meant doing some much needed gardening, adding plants, pulling weeds, replacing grass and admiring my gigantic hostas makes me smile. I won’t mislead you I’m not a real gardener but every little bit has been an improvement and I have found a profound sense of joy and peace as I stoop, bend and get my hands dirty bringing color and beauty to my yard.
In March we added a new member to our family and this little guy has provided a lot of love and comfort for us during the past several weeks. “Buttons” is a rescue poodle that I aquired from Picket Fence Poodles in Elk River, he had a history of being abandoned but we found he was a perfect fit for us and our family is now complete.
So my friends I share a couple of things that can add joy and peace during your healing journey, taking a step at a time I listen to music, admire art, read poetry and write in my journal and of course being with family and friends will help you mend.
Blessings,
Mary
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Posted by Mary on June 15, 2009
One of the kindest things about losing a loved one is that we tend to remember only the most wonderful stories about that person, all else is unimportant and forgotten. As I think of my sister Susie and look at her pictures and memorabilia surrounding me I remember all the most funny and delightful experiences we shared as sisters. I’m glad May is over because when I handed over the keys to her apartment for the last time it felt like I was reopening a wound - the total finality left me physically and emotionally spent. A part of me looked forward to the ending, being finished with the work of packing and unpacking all her personal belongings I was tired of making decisions about what to do with every item from the impractical to the personal stuff that represented her life. When the time came to meet the management company representative for the final walk through I realized too late that I shouldn’t have come alone, I felt sad and disoriented for the rest of the day
Considering the work I need to do to create my personal healing plan I need to start with the basics like rest, relaxation, healthy food, laughter and tenderly managing grief. What I know for sure is that I WILL heal I just wish I could fast forward the process, but perhaps I’d miss the significant life lessons along the way. I know my journey is easier with the loving support of family and friends, faithful friends tell you they won’t abandon you while you walk the path of healing reclaiming your joy and laughter.
Today I received an email from a fellow healer and she passed on a couple of you tube videos and the one that caught my eye was the one titled the Wounded Healer. I share this with my audience in hopes that we can all embrace our life events with gratitude and feel a shared sense of Community.
The Wounded Healer
Mary
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Posted by Mary on May 5, 2009
I wrote a small item awhile ago on my friend Sherry a Breast Cancer Survivor; although new at the business of “thriving” she is running joyously toward her new beginnings. I received her email blast last evening where she routed her wedding pictures to those of us who are fortunate to be in her circle of family and friends. I had received a voice message from her Sunday night telling me she was thinking of me and just hearing her voice was a tonic for my soul. In the mist of her celebration she remembered to share my grief, holding me in her heart as I work through the physical, legal and emotional business of closing out my sister’s affairs.
As I scrolled through the pictures of my friends wedding I was delighted to see the ecstatic Joy that my dear friend shows, especially the glow of love and appreciation for her children, her loving new husband Mike and for the friends and family surrounding her. The pictures are a reminder that the circle of life goes on and while we don’t always get a choice about what life throws in our path we do have a choice about our response to life events.
A Joyous Wedding
I look at the wedding pictures again and I see Gratitude with a touch of humiliy on the face of my dear friend Sherry, an appreciation for the opportunity to continue to embrace life and play with those she loves and holds dear. The process of healing our grief over the loss of my sister will take time for those of us who loved Faye Susanne. As my sisters and I work through the reality of closing out my sister Susie’s apartment and the very personal pieces of her life we are faced with a critical choice, “how will we embrace life without her? “
I hope we have the courage to embrace life with forgiveness and boundless Joy for what we have now just like my friend Sherry. There is a part of Sherry that reminds me of my sister Susie and it’s her unadulterated expectation to live life fully in love. My sister Susie lived from her Heart, smiling at life, looking for and expecting people to share her laughter and love of life surrounded by family and friends.
Congratulations Sherry and Mike!
Mary
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Posted by Mary on April 25, 2009
My sister Faye’s funeral is over and as we’re picking up the pieces of our lives it almost feels like we’re sleep walking, hoping to wake up and know that this was all a dream and Susie is home from her vacation in Cancun. In the mist of our sorrow my sisters and I talk about how we just burst into tears when we remember she’s gone, it’s still a shock and the hole in our hearts a very raw wound.
As the big sister I’ve organized the work to be done like a project, creating a spreadsheet with all the information, action items and duties to be performed. I did the research on the legal financial responsibilities and spoke to the appropriate authorities as I determine the paperwork that needs to be filed to close out her affairs. We’ve visited her apartment, it’s hard to visit her home and be assaulted by all the memories but somehow I keep pushing us to move forward one step at a time.
I had a task on my to-do list to talk to my sister’s primary care physician about her heart attack and why everyone missed the signs – this took us all by surprise. I spoke to her doctor Thursday afternoon and he was saddened to hear of her sudden death. We reviewed and discussed her medical history, past vital signs and lab work but found no indication of an impending cardiovascular problem, and her blood pressure and cholesterol were consistently good. Faye worried a bit about her weight but she felt lucky that she didn’t have hypertension or any of the early signs that my brother and I have (we take after my father’s side of the family). I asked the doctor how we could have missed this, I know I should know better than to second guess what happened but I couldn’t help myself I just wished I could have my sister back.
My friend Mary is walking today for the American Heart Association, she said she will do this in memory of my sister Faye “Susie” Chapa. I’m including the website for the American Heart Association and the Women Heart organization websites because they have a lot of good information on Women and Heart Disease
http://www.womenheart.org/
http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=2859
Coming from the healthcare industry we think we know everything but I now have my work cut out for me as I look at my own health risk. I’ll be visiting these websites often as I construct an action plan for myself so I don’t leave loved ones wondering “why or what if?”
Choosing Life,
Mary
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Posted by Mary on April 19, 2009
I’m creating notes about my sister Faye for her pastor as he prepares consoling words for her funeral service on Monday. Later today we will gather with family and friends for her visitation. I’ve started with just the facts, when and where she was born and a list of family members, where she went to school and her career. The hard part is I’m trying to describe who she was or at least how I remember her as I’m big sister.
I was reflecting on how we were so opposite in many ways, she had this big smile that made her approachable and it showed in the number of friends she attracted. She nurtured and protected relationships like they were gold and I remember teasing her because she said she made friends while riding the bus to work, she called them her bus buddies. Where my sister was more of an extrovert and a very social person I am more introverted and serious, always with my head in a book (or computer). It occurred to me today as I thought about our differences that while I lived in my head my sister lived from her Heart.
My mother would be so proud of Susie, she was such an example of good manners and etiquette. She still does all the things she was taught, she was never a rebellious teenager. When I go to her apartment I see her bed is made and everything is neat and orderly, color and memories fill her home with pictures of loved ones the ocean and sea shells everywhere. When we have family gatherings she’s the first to offer to bring a dish and after dinner she’s not sitting in the living room becaue she’s in the kitchen washing dishes for whoever made the meal. She still says please and never forgets to say thank you, she offers you gas money if you give her a ride and always pays her debts no matter how long it takes. She brought cards frequently to remember birthdays and special events and never forgets what’s special to you.
I’m not sure what I’ll do without my sister, I was always taking classes or learning something new and when I’d forget old stories or people I’d ask Susie, I told her once she was my memory. We’d laugh too because when she would answer any question about a past family story she would tell us what the weather was like and what we were wearing. I won’t won’t be able to ask her to remind me about our past anymore.
My sister lived from her Heart,
Mary
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