Posted by Mary on July 21, 2009
Last Friday I drove to Wisconsin to spend time with my mentor and friend Lee, a Shamana. I was taking time for both personal healing and to continue to learn the way of the Shaman. Lee’s home is a beautiful sanctuary on a hill reminiscent of a retreat setting, the living room wall is all glass looking out over the hill at mature trees. The scent of burnt sage washed over me as I walked through the entryway into her living room. It’s quiet here and I’m surrounded by symbols of native ritual and ceremony, drums, rattles, essential oils, stones and artifacts. Her mesa positioned as altar, among the many artifacts gathered from her travels and truely a beautiful setting to work; Lee stands in beauty waiting to be led by spirit to the work to be done.
I left feeling “full” of life, gratitude and curiosity to do the work recommended for my healing and growth, part of my spiritual path so that I may share healing ceremony with others. On Saturday I had the opportunity to share my experience with my young nieces as we worked and spent time shopping, gathering the materials we would need for one of the ceremonies. Before we started I introduced my drum showing the girls how to hold the drum and beat it so they could feel the vibrations on their bodies, I did a smudging of sage and explained how they should set an intention before we started our work. We shared a peaceful day creating our Prayer Arrow and when we were done we closed with another smudging of sage and blessing.
Monday morning I woke up early and went downstairs, I was grateful to be able to spend time drumming while I focused on my new intention and completed prayer arrow.
For those that may not be familiar with shamanism a definition from Lee’s website www.Sacredway.net follows: Shamanism is a spiritual practice and a healing tradition estimated to be more than 40,000 years old. The shaman incorporates their healing knowledge and spirit into the modern world, restoring balance and harmony to ourselves, our communities and or planet as a whole. There are other more detailed definitions that focus on shamans as working through spirit using drumming as a method to journey and connect to the spirit world, I leave you to your own research but should you have questions please contact me.
Blessings,
Mary
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Posted by Mary on July 9, 2009
I was reminded of a valuable community resource yesterday when I received an electronic newsletter from the Center for Spirituality and Healing announcing the latest updates and events. I attended one of their educational workshops last spring on Holistic Health &Healing at the Woodwinds Health Center in Woodbury and the week was a special treat for me. I encourage you to explore and sample their website at http://www.csh.umn.edu/, I find it to be rich with information for you as an individual or as a practitioner.
As a health and healing practitioner experienced in both traditional and complementary medicine I appreciate the breath and scope of our local resources. Minnesota is fortunate to be recognized for many of the community based resources we have in the area of Integrative Medicine and as I build a practice I am reminded to look for what’s available locally; there are too mnay to list but one more resource I like is located at http://www.becomingwell.org/index.html.
I recently did a search for energy healing videos that I could post on my site to help demonstrate a form of energy healing sessions and I found the following item, at least until I can film my own work. This one is available from the Healing Touch Program out of Colorado, I am still looking for a specific video I like using the reiki healing techniques.
Healing Touch Program: An Introduction to Healing Touch part 1of 2
Enjoy!
Mary
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Posted by Mary on June 30, 2009
Mom - An Independent Woman
One of my mother’s key values was the importance of “Choice,” her underlying principal was for women to be independent, strong and employed. “It’s important to work hard and get an education” she said, typical values growing up in Minnesota during the 1950’s and 60’s. I lived my life believing this until I became a Director several times over and learned that budget cuts are painful choices and that we let people go even though they had an education and worked hard. It’s been two years since I “chose” to leave my corporate job and reinvent myself, I’ve moved away from health care management and sales management in private industry back to healthcare but from a holistic health and wellness perspective.
I’ve made lots of choices, trying on different ideas based on a holistic perspective and building from my healing practice foundation. I’ve experimented the past two years thinking through what type of business I wanted to create until something became clear and the clarity came through personal discomfort. What are my strengths, what work is satisfying and can I evolve the business into an eventual retirement practice?
After my father died last fall I realized I used my nursing skills to manage his medical care over several years, I did the same when my mother died from cancer and subsequently other family members requested my support. When my sister died recently I organized the work that needed to be done with my remaining sisters, closing out all her final affairs. Having assisted with end of life activities for both parents and a younger sister I learned a lot through very different experiences and it became clear that being a daughter, sister and friend with a health and healing background could be helpful to others.
Some choices are obvious and other opportunities come to us unlooked for but life is an interesting journey and I have a myriad of choices. I consider myself a strong independent woman, I learned from my Mother.
Mary
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Posted by Mary on June 24, 2009
I’ve done a bit of research on information that would have been helpful a few weeks ago on “what to do when a loved one dies.” I remember asking our funeral home director if they had a checklist on to help us organize all the tasks to be done and I was surprised when he said “we don’t have anything like that.” I was more surprised that he wasn’t able to recommend a resource for us. My curiosity got the best of me and having the role of daughter, nurse, care coordinator, sister and end of life closer I decided to do some web browsing now that I’ve completed my sisters affairs. I found a few web resources with short checklists and forms that might be helpful to you, if interested look under “end of life checklists.”
I’ve already created my own electronic documents based on what worked for me and I’m updating with the new information I found during my research. No one wants to think about “Organizing” all the work to be done at End of Life but it needs to happen, most of it quickly. My previous work in home care, hospice and senior services have given me a passion for helping individuals and families transition smoothly during this difficult time. Here’s wishing that my experience can smooth the path for others, I invite you to stay tuned as I unveil a new service to current and future clients.
Eliza One, Inc. “Like a daughter, sister, friend… managing life transitions”
- Energy Healing * Reiki Master
- RN * Private Care Coordination
- End of Life Closer
Call (612) 202-5728 or visit my new office at 5871 Cedar Lake Road, Suite 216 * St. Louis Park, MN 55416
Mary
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Posted by Mary on June 18, 2009
Healing Pup
I’ve been reading and working on “This Thing Called Grief – New Understandings of Loss” by Thomas M. Ellis, the book and the center he directs in St. Paul was recommended by my friend Leslye. As I let go of the daily work I was doing to close out my sister’s affairs I begin to rest, reflect and rebuild my life after loss. Being kind to myself and creating beauty around me meant doing some much needed gardening, adding plants, pulling weeds, replacing grass and admiring my gigantic hostas makes me smile. I won’t mislead you I’m not a real gardener but every little bit has been an improvement and I have found a profound sense of joy and peace as I stoop, bend and get my hands dirty bringing color and beauty to my yard.
In March we added a new member to our family and this little guy has provided a lot of love and comfort for us during the past several weeks. “Buttons” is a rescue poodle that I aquired from Picket Fence Poodles in Elk River, he had a history of being abandoned but we found he was a perfect fit for us and our family is now complete.
So my friends I share a couple of things that can add joy and peace during your healing journey, taking a step at a time I listen to music, admire art, read poetry and write in my journal and of course being with family and friends will help you mend.
Blessings,
Mary
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Posted by Mary on June 15, 2009
One of the kindest things about losing a loved one is that we tend to remember only the most wonderful stories about that person, all else is unimportant and forgotten. As I think of my sister Susie and look at her pictures and memorabilia surrounding me I remember all the most funny and delightful experiences we shared as sisters. I’m glad May is over because when I handed over the keys to her apartment for the last time it felt like I was reopening a wound - the total finality left me physically and emotionally spent. A part of me looked forward to the ending, being finished with the work of packing and unpacking all her personal belongings I was tired of making decisions about what to do with every item from the impractical to the personal stuff that represented her life. When the time came to meet the management company representative for the final walk through I realized too late that I shouldn’t have come alone, I felt sad and disoriented for the rest of the day
Considering the work I need to do to create my personal healing plan I need to start with the basics like rest, relaxation, healthy food, laughter and tenderly managing grief. What I know for sure is that I WILL heal I just wish I could fast forward the process, but perhaps I’d miss the significant life lessons along the way. I know my journey is easier with the loving support of family and friends, faithful friends tell you they won’t abandon you while you walk the path of healing reclaiming your joy and laughter.
Today I received an email from a fellow healer and she passed on a couple of you tube videos and the one that caught my eye was the one titled the Wounded Healer. I share this with my audience in hopes that we can all embrace our life events with gratitude and feel a shared sense of Community.
The Wounded Healer
Mary
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Posted by Mary on May 5, 2009
I wrote a small item awhile ago on my friend Sherry a Breast Cancer Survivor; although new at the business of “thriving” she is running joyously toward her new beginnings. I received her email blast last evening where she routed her wedding pictures to those of us who are fortunate to be in her circle of family and friends. I had received a voice message from her Sunday night telling me she was thinking of me and just hearing her voice was a tonic for my soul. In the mist of her celebration she remembered to share my grief, holding me in her heart as I work through the physical, legal and emotional business of closing out my sister’s affairs.
As I scrolled through the pictures of my friends wedding I was delighted to see the ecstatic Joy that my dear friend shows, especially the glow of love and appreciation for her children, her loving new husband Mike and for the friends and family surrounding her. The pictures are a reminder that the circle of life goes on and while we don’t always get a choice about what life throws in our path we do have a choice about our response to life events.
A Joyous Wedding
I look at the wedding pictures again and I see Gratitude with a touch of humiliy on the face of my dear friend Sherry, an appreciation for the opportunity to continue to embrace life and play with those she loves and holds dear. The process of healing our grief over the loss of my sister will take time for those of us who loved Faye Susanne. As my sisters and I work through the reality of closing out my sister Susie’s apartment and the very personal pieces of her life we are faced with a critical choice, “how will we embrace life without her? “
I hope we have the courage to embrace life with forgiveness and boundless Joy for what we have now just like my friend Sherry. There is a part of Sherry that reminds me of my sister Susie and it’s her unadulterated expectation to live life fully in love. My sister Susie lived from her Heart, smiling at life, looking for and expecting people to share her laughter and love of life surrounded by family and friends.
Congratulations Sherry and Mike!
Mary
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Posted by Mary on April 25, 2009
My sister Faye’s funeral is over and as we’re picking up the pieces of our lives it almost feels like we’re sleep walking, hoping to wake up and know that this was all a dream and Susie is home from her vacation in Cancun. In the mist of our sorrow my sisters and I talk about how we just burst into tears when we remember she’s gone, it’s still a shock and the hole in our hearts a very raw wound.
As the big sister I’ve organized the work to be done like a project, creating a spreadsheet with all the information, action items and duties to be performed. I did the research on the legal financial responsibilities and spoke to the appropriate authorities as I determine the paperwork that needs to be filed to close out her affairs. We’ve visited her apartment, it’s hard to visit her home and be assaulted by all the memories but somehow I keep pushing us to move forward one step at a time.
I had a task on my to-do list to talk to my sister’s primary care physician about her heart attack and why everyone missed the signs – this took us all by surprise. I spoke to her doctor Thursday afternoon and he was saddened to hear of her sudden death. We reviewed and discussed her medical history, past vital signs and lab work but found no indication of an impending cardiovascular problem, and her blood pressure and cholesterol were consistently good. Faye worried a bit about her weight but she felt lucky that she didn’t have hypertension or any of the early signs that my brother and I have (we take after my father’s side of the family). I asked the doctor how we could have missed this, I know I should know better than to second guess what happened but I couldn’t help myself I just wished I could have my sister back.
My friend Mary is walking today for the American Heart Association, she said she will do this in memory of my sister Faye “Susie” Chapa. I’m including the website for the American Heart Association and the Women Heart organization websites because they have a lot of good information on Women and Heart Disease
http://www.womenheart.org/
http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=2859
Coming from the healthcare industry we think we know everything but I now have my work cut out for me as I look at my own health risk. I’ll be visiting these websites often as I construct an action plan for myself so I don’t leave loved ones wondering “why or what if?”
Choosing Life,
Mary
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Posted by Mary on April 19, 2009
I’m creating notes about my sister Faye for her pastor as he prepares consoling words for her funeral service on Monday. Later today we will gather with family and friends for her visitation. I’ve started with just the facts, when and where she was born and a list of family members, where she went to school and her career. The hard part is I’m trying to describe who she was or at least how I remember her as I’m big sister.
I was reflecting on how we were so opposite in many ways, she had this big smile that made her approachable and it showed in the number of friends she attracted. She nurtured and protected relationships like they were gold and I remember teasing her because she said she made friends while riding the bus to work, she called them her bus buddies. Where my sister was more of an extrovert and a very social person I am more introverted and serious, always with my head in a book (or computer). It occurred to me today as I thought about our differences that while I lived in my head my sister lived from her Heart.
My mother would be so proud of Susie, she was such an example of good manners and etiquette. She still does all the things she was taught, she was never a rebellious teenager. When I go to her apartment I see her bed is made and everything is neat and orderly, color and memories fill her home with pictures of loved ones the ocean and sea shells everywhere. When we have family gatherings she’s the first to offer to bring a dish and after dinner she’s not sitting in the living room becaue she’s in the kitchen washing dishes for whoever made the meal. She still says please and never forgets to say thank you, she offers you gas money if you give her a ride and always pays her debts no matter how long it takes. She brought cards frequently to remember birthdays and special events and never forgets what’s special to you.
I’m not sure what I’ll do without my sister, I was always taking classes or learning something new and when I’d forget old stories or people I’d ask Susie, I told her once she was my memory. We’d laugh too because when she would answer any question about a past family story she would tell us what the weather was like and what we were wearing. I won’t won’t be able to ask her to remind me about our past anymore.
My sister lived from her Heart,
Mary
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Posted by Mary on March 29, 2009
Another Sunday and it’s been a very full week with numerous life events including my sick dog, an interview, educational conference at Mayo, a car accident, a close friend carrying a heavy burden and a note from another dear friend that I am choosing to share. I met Sherry less than 5 months ago but somehow sharing our stories it seems like we’ve been friends for ages and that’s how it has been for me the past 2 years on this journey. I don’t want to digress but this is my message from Sherry as she celebrated her last day of radiation treatment last Friday:
“You’re being pinked on what is the last day of the radiation treatment for my breast cancer diagnosed on 11/5/08. In this long winter of my soul, each of you has been the medicine which contributes to my victory today. For your love, your willingness to be my cheerleaders, my listeners, my confidants and my hope, I thank you with a heart that overflows with gratitude. Most of all, so often, you carried this challenge for me when its weight threatened to buckle me. Because you were willing to reach within yourselves and care for a fellow life traveler, I emerge victorious today. I realize fully that the future requires my vigilance to maintain the health my treatments have yielded, but one of the primary lessons on this journey is to stay vigilant for my own well being. I hope that is a lesson for your lives, as well. In reality, all anyone ever has is the moment. Let’s live it fully!
I stand now with new direction and meaning for my life. I am determined, with the help of each of you and so many others who care about integrative medical care for our community, to bring a breast cancer center to the Chippewa Valley. We deserve no less than integrative care which honors our hearts, minds and spirits. Our job is to hold to the vision and to each other because it is in that sacred space that change happens. Together, we are a force of life that will make the way better for our fellow travelers.
Do your breast exams, listen to your inner voice and know that this disease cannot rob us of our dignity as we stand united in support of one another. Thank you for sharing the journey. With all my love, Sherry”
As I reflect on this week and think about my friends and family and hold them near I happened to notice an article by Michael J. Fox as he writes about his life with Parkinson’s disease and he states, “It’s the courage to look at something and say, however bad this is, it isn’t bad infinitely. You can make choices in a process like this and turn in the direction of the condition or disease and give it permission to take over” He is choosing to face in the direction of Life. Listening to the news on the state of the economy and the life problems that go on in the world and right here within my circle of friends and family, I want to be brave like my friend Sherry and always choose life, choose compassion, love and gratitude.
Wishing you a week of generosity,
Mary
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